Greatest E-Mail Ever.

From: Matthys M.D. [mailto:youwishyouknew@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2008 6:43 AM
To: Katie B.
Subject: Re: I'm going home!

So freshman year me and Brian used to have this funny saying when we were feeling kinda shitty: "When you think things are bad, just look on the other side of the room." It worked with everything from crappy homework to a messy side of the room (which was almost always me), a majority of the time we could just look at what the other person was doing and go "well at least I dont have THAT going for me." It was a really fun way to spin both major and minor obstacles into something we could both laugh at. I bring this up for a couple of reasons. On friday I got really sad all of a sudden because I had just made dinner for myself (steak and japanese noodles) and declared aloud "Wow! This is the best steak I've ever made! This is the highlight of my day!" (it truly was, it was perfectly medium rare and it tasted superb). I then realized that while I was impresssed with how well the steak came out, my Friday nights back at school were almost always more exciting than a perfect steak. It was in that moment that I recognized how much I missed my friends and everything we did together. Since I was by myself, it really hung over my head.

When I'm sad/angry/upset/stressed I almost always turn to a playlist I have on my iPod called "acoustic" (it used to be called "miserable and loving it" but then I thought that was wayyyyy too emo lol). It really helps me feel better because they're all really sad songs. I always go through this sequence when I'm listening to it where I have my original feelings of shittiness, then I feel even worse during the middle of my playlist, but I eventually snap back and feel really good. Not gonna lie, I listened to that playlist a LOT this year (due to girl trouble, fighting with my parents, girl trouble, jealousy, stress about grad school, being rejected from grad school, frustration, stress, drama and of course girl trouble). I was just thinking earlier last week how I hadn't had to listen to that playlist in a long time... that is until Friday. I was listening to "acoustic" in the kitchen, and I kinda was just standing there feeling miserable, but then I was like "I'm over this, I'm tired of feeling sad." To make myself feel better I started thinking about how exciting it was going to be to make new friends in a new environment. While the moments I shared with the people are unique, it doesnt mean I won't be able to make similar memories with my future friends.

So I completely understand what you're going through, but at the same time I wouldn't be too worried about it. While you don't have many friends now, you have to realize you've basically only been there for a month and you've already made a few friends. Think of what it's gonna be like in a couple of months where you'll make way more friends. I think we kind of get spoiled by the whole college situation because as soon as we arrive we are immersed in a social setting where we are surrounded by dozens of strangers, some we will barely remember, some we will despise, and others we will have long lasting memories of. The workplace isn't really designed like that at all. There are already a bunch of people there who have established themselves as well as their relationships, and I doubt you're situation is like this but where I work, I am easily the youngest person in the office (there are 2 people who are in their early to mid 30s, and they're really good friends). Therefore I have very few people to interact with (there are only about 8 people in the office, one is my mom, the other is my supervisor, then a married couple who are the accountants, the 2 friends, and a marketing manager). While you've only made a handful of friends, you are still way ahead of me.

Also you have to realize that your friends may seem far away, but not really cause you're able to drive to them on the weekends and hang out. You obviously can't do this every weekend, but at least you know that they're only a few hours away. My closest friend is a 6 hour plane ride away, and my even better, closer friends (that I miss wayyyyyy more) are a 13 hour plane ride away. It also doesn't help that I can only talk to a couple of them because of the time difference and the fact that when I get home from work, everyones asleep. the one thing that keeps me going though is the fact that I am fully confident I will make friends wherever I go. I'm a really shy person when you first meet me (unless I'm with people I know) but eventually I loosen up and make friends. Ross, Marc, Kristina, Kim and Lisa all lived on our floor freshman year with me and Brian and I barely knew Brian after 2 weeks, which goes to show you what a month will do.

It's natural to be sad when you're thinking of all fun stuff we did (I saw pictures of when we went bowling, and that was honestly one of my funnest nights of college) cause honestly we were basically a family, at least thats how I saw it and my parents made the same observation. Almost everything I do reminds me of you guys which makes it even worse, and at the same time I love that we have made such strong connections that will surely last a lifetime.

So I hope this helps, it took a while to write (I had to stop in the middle of it cuz I got really itchy for like 10 straight minutes). So hang in there, don't fret about not making a bajillion friends in the first month because they'll surely come. Well I'm going to sleep and I'm sure you're just about to get to work. So just remember, when you think things are bad, just look on the other side of the room ;-)