Bad Blogger

I admit it. I've been a bad, bad blogger. I vow to be better. I've just been so physically and mentally exhausted lately. Work is blowing my mind. All of last week I was at my employer's premiere training facility which was really an incredible experience with incredible opportunities around it... however, it was also full of 18 hour days and spirit-crushing feedback from my superiors.

The plus side is that I met a lot of really incredible people who I can already tell are going to beome a network, a community, and a family for me throughout these next 2 years and further into my career. After only knowing them for a few days, I've already come to rely on them to cry to, to laugh with, to get drinks with, to seek help from, to get peptalks from, to give peptalks to, and basically just support each other completely and totally in this voyage from college life to working for a major corporation. A major corporation that is providing us with a great salary, health benefits, career advancement opportunities, global travel, training, leadership development, and support... but.... by being associated with this organization it is also asking us to conform, to fit the corporate mold, to ignore some of their questionable behavior, and basically I feel a little like a sell out sometimes. However, I think that the organization does great things in the world. I don't know if it is possible for a company of its size to be perfect. We don't ask individuals in life to be perfect, yet I want this from an employer? Maybe it is not possible.

And honestly, I'd rather be here than elsewhere. I am proud of where I work and proud of what they do. Unfortunately, I'm not proud of myself yet.... and I don't really know why.