Lately I've been noticing that whenever something exciting is coming up in my life, I am AFRAID to allow myself to get excited for it because I am scared it might not actually happen. On Monday, I had a job interview that ended very promising. When I told my Dad on the phone, he told me I should be excited and to go have a beer (ha... if only I got afford some good beer to keep in my fridge). However, it wasn't my lack of good beer that kept me from celebrating. I explained that I was nervous to allow myself to be excited because it wasn't definite and then what would happen if it didn't work out?
What he responded was, "Kate, don't do that. You've got to just let yourself enjoy things while you can. When something good happens, be happy. Be happy while you can."
As it is with all fathers, my Dad is apt to having words come out of his mouth that can range everywhere from brilliant to caring to weird to complete nonsense. While I was just home for Easter, after a few drinks, my dad was discussing how he feels about rushing things when you get out of college and trying to find the best job, apartment, relationship, etc. really fast. He silenced the room and very dramatically he announced, "All I have to say about this is that.... life... is not a race... it's a... its a journey." I didn't know whether to laugh or cringe.
What he responded was, "Kate, don't do that. You've got to just let yourself enjoy things while you can. When something good happens, be happy. Be happy while you can."
As it is with all fathers, my Dad is apt to having words come out of his mouth that can range everywhere from brilliant to caring to weird to complete nonsense. While I was just home for Easter, after a few drinks, my dad was discussing how he feels about rushing things when you get out of college and trying to find the best job, apartment, relationship, etc. really fast. He silenced the room and very dramatically he announced, "All I have to say about this is that.... life... is not a race... it's a... its a journey." I didn't know whether to laugh or cringe.
However, every once in a while he says something that I think I really should take to heart. This is how I felt about his latest advice about being happy while I can.
I guess I have been disappointed so many times in the past that with everything that happens I prepare myself for the worst and don't build anything up too much. But, it isn't always easy and all week this has been sitting in my stomach as such an internal conflict. I want to be happy but I'm scared and trying to prepare myself for the disappointment. Yuck, lets just hope that they get back to me soon, and in the meantime I'll try just swallow my stomach.
I guess I have been disappointed so many times in the past that with everything that happens I prepare myself for the worst and don't build anything up too much. But, it isn't always easy and all week this has been sitting in my stomach as such an internal conflict. I want to be happy but I'm scared and trying to prepare myself for the disappointment. Yuck, lets just hope that they get back to me soon, and in the meantime I'll try just swallow my stomach.
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